


Life After

by Minkle_Thorn



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: "The Development of Plance" through my eyes, Allura is gone, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuddles, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Follows the events of canon, Healing, How Do I Tag, Hunk also knows Spanish, Hurt/Comfort, I don't really know where this is going to go..., Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, No Beta, Plance-centered, Platonic Bed-sharing, Platonic Cuddling, Post Season 8, Sharing a Bed, Some of those characters may only be mentioned, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, We Die Like Men, What is an update schedule?, as in me the author, at least i'd like to think so, grieving Lance, hand-wavy science stuff, hurt team voltron, plance, sorry guys..., time-jumps, what I like to think would be canon afterwards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-01-13 14:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18470791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minkle_Thorn/pseuds/Minkle_Thorn
Summary: "He rolls over and begins to sob, not bothering to keep his volume down and not caring if anyone hears him. He is so wrapped up in his grief that he doesn't hear his door opening.  Nor the footsteps of someone approaching his bed, only registering the presence of another human being when they put their hand on his shoulder.  Without looking at their face, he sits up and buries his face in their shoulder, seeking the comfort that he is in desperate need of and not caring who he gets it from anymore.  He was tired of being alone...". . .This is what I would like to think happened after Season 8 (MAJOR SPOILERS IN THIS FIC).  It starts off a month after they fix the universe and Lance is still struggling.  I will be following the gist of canon events but I may change some things about the one-year anniversary and life after, but I will keep it as close as I feel the need to.  These are some of the ships that I like so, if you don't like it, don't read it.  May have some time skips depending on where I want this to go... #IHaveNoPlan





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Welcome to my first Voltron: Legendary Defender fanfiction! 
> 
> This is my third work over all and my second multi-chapter fic and I am very excited to see where this journey will take us! Like it said in the summary, I have no plan. Well, okay, that's a little bit of lie. I have a basic idea of what I would like to have happen, but who knows if that is actually where this is going to go... This first chapter has even gotten ahead of me and taken me to different places. It was originally going to be a short prologue for after Allura's death and then go straight to the Lions leaving in Chapter 2. But that is not what is going to happen! We will be spending some more time here! I don't think that a lot of people write about the grief for Allura and so this is what I think happened! 
> 
> We will eventually get to Plance, but the focus right now will be on Lance's healing process (the other paladins are still grieving, but they're doing better than Lance is right now. 
> 
> Again, this story also does follow the basics of canon but I will be changing a couple of things, so it is not entirely canon-compliant. Everything before the events of this fic did take place as canon says it did, but I'm changing some aspects of the future/the one-year anniversary. 
> 
> **Side Note(s):**
> 
> I do not speak Spanish, but I do like the fics where Lance shows a little more of his Cuban heritage. So, I am simply using Google Translate (#NotSponsored). If I ever use anything incorrectly, please feel free to leave me a comment and I will fix it as soon as possible! Please be kind about it. 
> 
> Also! I am not a Scientist! Science is actually my worst subject, so any science mumbo-jumbo that may come to play in this fic will most likely not be correct. If it really bugs you, you can leave me a comment telling me what would be correct. Again, Please be kind in the comments. If you can't say any criticism nicely, _don't say anything at all!_ I appreciate and encourage positive criticism with my writing and any other grammar errors that you may pick up
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story! :D

He shot up from his restless sleep with a shout, Allura's name fresh on his tongue. He looked around his room on The Atlas to get his bearings. It had been a month after Allura's death, and the trip back was taking longer than originally planned. Without Allura's power to activate the new teladuv and create a worm-hole, they had to take the long way back to Earth. They had left Coran on New Altea a few weeks ago, allowing him to reestablish old Altean customs with the colonists, and the team was still mourning the loss of their beloved friend and fellow-paladin. 

At least, that's what everyone else was grieving. Lance on the other hand, had just lost his first love. Not many people knew this, seeing that he was an incorrigible flirt, but Allura was his first actual girlfriend, and she had sacrificed herself for the sake of the universe. He brought his knees up to his chest and laid his forehead on them. The vision of Allura's hand slipping out of his as she walked towards her father, King Alfor, the first Red Paladin, still fresh on his mind. He felt like that character off a TV show he watched when he was younger, what was his name? The one whose first girlfriend became the moon to save her people. Yeah, there were a lot of similarities between himself and that guy. Both screwed over by an awesome, beautiful, bad-ass, self-sacrificing girlfriend.

_Lucky us_

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down and keep his depression at bay. He hadn't stepped foot out of his room at all. The others have stopped in, trying to get him to open up, but he refused. He just wanted to be alone. 

Except right now, that's the last thing that he wanted. 

He curled up tighter around himself, feeling the absence of her comfort acutely. It was sad, all he wanted was Allura's comfort to get him through this, but he couldn't have it because she was gone... It was a never-ending cycle of torment. He frequently found himself getting up to go to Allura's room for a hug, but then stopping himself as he saw the juniberry sitting on his desk where Hunk had put it during his last visit. Or looking in the mirror at the new Altean marks on his face that he hadn't quite gotten used to. Or when he sees the picture of the two of them on their first date. Or when he sees the blue lion plushie that he won for her on Clear Day, lying on the floor where he threw it in a fit of anger. Or when... Or when... Or when... The list goes on. 

_I can't take this anymore!_

He rolls over and begins to sob, not bothering to keep his volume down and not caring if anyone hears him. He is so wrapped up in his grief that he doesn't hear his door opening. Nor the footsteps of someone approaching his bed, only registering the presence of another human being when they put their hand on his shoulder. Without looking at their face, he sits up and buries his face in their shoulder, seeking the comfort that he is in desperate need of and not caring who he gets it from anymore. He was tired of being alone.

The body stiffened at the sudden contact and wrapped their arms around him in a comforting embrace. Gentle shushing reached his ears as a hand finds its way into his hair, tenderly stroking his scalp. He leaned his head into the touch. It had been so long since he had allowed himself physical contact from others, not wanting anything, or anyone, who wasn’t Allura. But he couldn’t take it anymore.

He was done. 

The other hand started stroking his back in comforting circles as he hiccupped his last sobs and slipped into a peaceful sleep, finally feeling safe and protected.

\------------------------------ 

Lance awoke late the next morning, feeling completely rested. For once, no lingering thoughts plaguing his mind. He stretched his arms above his head, feeling a pleasant pop as his vertebrae realigned. He sighed happily as he turned his head on his pillow to look at his alarm clock, still set in Altean time instead of Earth time. It was now 0900 varga, and milk dobashes, his sleep-adled brain helpfully supplied. 

... 

_Wait..._

... 

_What the quiznack?_

He looked again to see a glass of _was that cold?_ Yep! **Cold** milk sitting slightly in front of his alarm clock. Whoever was here last night couldn't have been gone long. He sat up and looked around the room, finding his blue lion slippers set neatly on the floor next to his bed, his blue robe draped over his desk chair, the blue lion plushie leaning contentedly onto the juniberry pot opposed to its previous spot on the floor, and a small note next to the milk glass. 

_"We miss you, Lance"_

...

So, it wasn’t a dream after all 

Someone had been there comforting him last night. 

He didn’t know how he felt about that. Sure, he was crying and desperate last night, but _Dios,_ he couldn’t recall who it was. 

He rolled his eyes, _That was only slightly embarrassing_

He picked up the glass and tentatively put it to his lips. 

_Fresh, whole milk_

He smiled. Glad that Kaltinecker was enjoying her time out in space. He honestly had been surprised when he had found that the docile cow, along with the Altean mice and Pidge’s dog, Bae Bae, were allowed on board The Atlas. But hey, fresh milk! He wasn’t complaining. 

He starts to think back to last night, Present-Lance feeling annoyed that Past-Lance hadn’t bothered to even look at the person’s face. All he could remember was the overwhelming feeling of _"safe"_ while he was in their arms. He didn’t even remember any defining aspects of their figure, just warm and comforting. 

_Bueno eso fue estupido_

Lance dwells on the subject for the duration of his miserable excuse of a productive morning. Hey! He finally put the pile of dirty pajamas down the laundry chute! He would count that as a win. Besides, he was running out of comfy clothes, which are necessary for best results of wallowing in self-pity. 

Hunk eventually came by to drop off food for lunch. _"¡Oye hermano! ¿Como te sientes hoy?"_

How was he feeling? Lance didn’t know, so he said nothing, staring at the wall next to his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest again. 

Hunk sighed as he walked across the room, setting the tray down on the nightstand. “Look man, I know you’re hurting. All of us are! But this is getting scary, _hermano. Por favor háblame._ ” 

No response

After another thirty ticks of deafening silence in the room, Hunk gave another sigh. “Lance, I’m not leaving until you talk to me. Even if I have to fall asleep in that chair. This isn’t good for you, man. _Háblame._ ”

Lance shifted his gaze over to the large man, tears coming to his eyes. He slowly shook his head and promptly buried it in his arms resting on top of his knees. 

Hunk moved towards the chair, laying the robe gently on his desk and pulling the chair so it sat next to the bed. He sat down and tentatively put a hand on Lance’s left foot, giving his friend the opportunity to move away if he didn’t want it. Lance didn’t move and Hunk squeezed it reassuringly, glad that he could have at least some physical contact with his best friend after a month. 

_This touch is different than the one from last night_ Lance thought as his tears slowed. He couldn't be sure, but Hunk’s hand felt too big to be the same person. 

They sat there in a comfortable silence until Lance finally looked up from his arms. Hunk’s breath hitched, noticing how Lance’s tears had only managed to make his new Altean markings more prominent against his darker skin tone. He hadn’t seen Lance enough to get used to them yet, and the sight brought back memories of that fateful day. Lance sniffed, cutting him off from his thoughts. He reached over to grab a tissue off of the nightstand and gave it to his friend, who took it and blew his nose softly. They sat in silence until Hunk softly broke it.

“We could use you on the bridge. Shiro has been trying to find a solution to get us home faster. Keith has been trying to contact Krolia and Kolivan but we’re still out of range. Pidge and her dad are similarly trying to contact Matt and the rebels, while also looking for ways to get the teladuv working with no success. And I’ve been experimenting with new recipes so much that the fridge is overflowing… Even with a ship full of people!” Lance softly chuckled at that and Hunk took it for a win. “I think it would really boost everyone’s spirits to see you up and about again.” 

Lance’s smile from before faded a little. He sighed and rested his chin on his knees. After a few ticks he said softly “ _No puedo. Hoy no. No estoy listo._ ”

Hunk squeezed his foot a little harder for a second before relaxing again. “Okay. Just please, try to make it soon?” Lance nodded numbly. “Okay. Then I’ll see you when I come back with dinner.” Another nod. He stood from the chair and walked to the door, pausing to give his friend one last comforting smile before walking out, leaving Lance to his thoughts once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!! 
> 
> I am using this story as an outlet for some of my head-canons that I have found interesting. They were either developed by myself or by other writers who wrote fics that inspired me!
> 
> No worries! I know who Sokka is! I just had to put that reference in there... I couldn't resist!! The resemblance between Lance and Sokka is uncanny!! Not just the looks, but the attitude, the self-sacrificing, even the voices sound like they are done by the same actor, but sadly, they are not... Anyway, I **had** to put it in there!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has a "dream" about Allura
> 
> . . .
> 
>  _“I’m… I’m so sorry! I’m sorry that I had to leave you, Lance! Believe me, if there was any other way, I wouldn’t have left you! I wouldn’t – !” She choked on a sob and took a deep breath before she continued. “I hate seeing you in pain, Lance. You’re torturing yourself by shutting out the other paladins. Your teammates._ Your family.”
> 
>  
> 
> _”No… Allu-… Allura…” He sobbed._
> 
>  
> 
> _She pressed forward. “They need you, Lance. And you need them. It’s time to heal. You have to let me go.” She pulled back to look him in the eyes so he could not miss her meaning. “You have to Let. Me. Go.”_

**A/N: Trigger Warning! This chapter focuses on a specific dream that Lance has a couple of days after his talk with Hunk. There is quite a bit of heavy angst (mostly grief and emotional pain… why did I do this to my poor Cuban boy??!!?!) so if you don’t want to read it, skip down to the author’s note at the end of the dream for a quick summary of what happened. If you’re okay with heavy Langst, continue reading from this point. Enjoy!**

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

_White._

_Aethereal white was all he could see._

_A white that sparked a memory._

_He was in the Astral Plane._

_“Lance…”_

_His heart stopped as he turned around and spied the one person his heart so desperately needed to see, standing off in the distance._

_Tears instantly filled his eyes. “Allura…” He softly gasped. His feet broke into a sprint towards her, calling her name, his heart bursting with love and relief._

_Until he promptly ran into an invisible particle barrier, knocking him off of his feet and preventing him from closing the remaining ten feet between them. His heart filled with despair and overwhelming sadness, anger, and pain._

_He screamed her name as he got up and planted his hands against the wall, pounding his fists as he tried to break the barrier between them. His teary gaze never leaving her face. She smiled sadly, tears in her eyes as well as she walked up to the barrier, placing her left hand on the barrier, mirroring his right, and placed her forehead on where his was placed on the other side. They stayed like that for a few dobashes, enduring this torture that fate had placed upon them._

_Finally, she spoke, “I’m… I’m so sorry! I’m sorry that I had to leave you, Lance! Believe me, if there was any other way, I wouldn’t have left you! I wouldn’t – !” She choked on a sob and took a deep breath before she continued. “I hate seeing you in pain, Lance. You’re torturing yourself by shutting out the other paladins. Your teammates._ Your family.”

_”No… Allu-… Allura…” He sobbed._

_She pressed forward. “They need you, Lance. And you need them. It’s time to heal. You have to let me go.” She pulled back to look him in the eyes so he could not miss her meaning. “You have to Let. Me. Go.”_

_If it was possible, his heart broke even more at those words. “I… I-I can’t! I’m afraid that I’ll forget you! And I can’t – I can’t lose you, Allura. I love you!”_

_A small smile appeared on her face as she placed her other hand on the barrier between them. “Oh Lance, I love you too. But you’ll never forget me. I am with you in ways that you don’t understand yet, but you will.” She paused, struggling to get the next words out. “You will. B-But I’m afraid that it’s t-... time for me to go.”_

_A strangled cry escaped his throat, his eyes shutting against the pain. Wanting so badly to hold her, and this time, he wouldn't let go. But he was being denied by this damn particle barrier._

_He opened his eyes again, and she stepped back, letting her hands drop from the barrier. “Goodbye, Lance.” She said, giving him one last lingering look before turning back into the white light._

_He screamed as she disappeared from view, his throat raw from crying and screaming her name but he didn’t care. She was gone again. Gone from his life. And he would never get her back._

_He collapsed to his knees and wrapped his arms around himself, curling up into a vertical fetal position. All while screaming her name into the void, rocking himself back and forth._

He finally awoke from that hell by the feeling of someone shaking him awake, calling his name. He lunges at them, wrapping his arms around their waist and clutching their thin shirt between his fists. 

He. 

Couldn’t. 

_Breathe._

“Shhh… It’s okay, Lance. Shh… You’re okay… You’ve got this… You’re okay… Shhh……”

The familiarity of the voice only sends a half-baked transmission to Lance’s distressed mind, but nothing seems to compute at the moment. Lance is hyperventilating, the voice only calming him a little as he cries himself to sleep within the arms of his comforter. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: Summary! Lance has a dream about being in the white Astral Plane with Allura standing off in the distance. As he gets close to her, he runs into an invisible particle barrier, separating him from Allura. She comes and tells Lance that it’s time to heal. Time to reach out to the other paladins and let her go. She says that she is with him in ways that he doesn’t understand yet, but he will. With one final goodbye, she leaves. Lance is woken up by someone shaking him awake and calling his name. His mind doesn’t register the voice, but know that they are safe, and falls asleep in their arms… again… Let’s see what happens!**

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Lance woke up in the most comfortable position known to man. So warm. So peaceful.

 _”No me quiero mover.”_ he mumbled sleepily to himself.

His pillow answered by shifting slightly and Lance realized two things in that moment…

One: his mind was not awake enough to deal with this, and Two: pillows _do not move_

He opened his eyes, but did not move a muscle, afraid of waking his unknown bed-mate. He realized that he was lying on his stomach, his head was resting on the other human’s stomach, and his arms wrapped around their torso. He could feel his actual pillow against his forearms, propping them up in a semi-sitting position, and a weight across his shoulders that old him one of their arms was around his back. He took a couple of calming deep breaths as he attempted to muster the courage and look at their face. 

_You about done there champ?_ his subconscious helpfully asked.

_Shut up and give me a second!_

_You’re stalling, hermano._

_Well, who the quiznack asked you?!_

Giving himself a few more ticks to collect himself, he slowly raised his head to look at the other human’s face, only to see the last person that he had ever thought he would be sleeping next to.

_… Pidge?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof! What a heavy chapter! My heart was breaking for Lance as I was writing this. 
> 
> So a couple of explanations for my head-canons: First, I do believe that Lance and Allura really loved each other. So much that it would be debilitating for him to be alone. I truly believe that their relationship was real. Second, Pidge and Lance have a really good relationship as friends. But Lance has been so in love and focused on Allura, that he never saw Pidge as anything else. Pidge similarly, saw Lance and Allura together, and was happy for them. She has not had any past romantic feelings for Lance. So right now, they are just friends, but not too close. Personally, I would find it very disconcerting to find anyone in your bed - especially when your body is basically flush against them. The reason he is so surprised that it is Pidge is because she has not shown this level of emotional comfort or concern, ever. That is why he is surprised to see Pidge there.
> 
> Also! Some of you might say that a month is not an over-excessive amount of time to be grieving someone. Healthy grieving, yes, that would be the case. But what Lance is doing is not healthy. For one month, he hasn't moved from his room or had physical contact with anyone. That is not healthy. This is why Allura is telling him to move on. To start grieving in a healthy way and to not shut himself off from his paladin family. 
> 
> I hope that this little bit of Plance was okay for a start. We'll be seeing more as we continue, but yeah. I hope that you enjoyed this angst! Leave a comment and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge inhaled deeply, groaning as she tried to stretch, but she froze when her memories from the previous night came back to her. Lance smiled softly, squeezing her waist just a little tighter and nuzzling his head further into her shirt, eyes still closed. 
> 
> “… Morning Pidge …” He said sleepily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows directly after the last one.

Lance stared at her face, unable to process why _she_ was in his bed. As far as he knew, Pidge didn’t do emotions. She was more of the technology-fixes-everything type of person. Okay, well maybe not _everything,_ but technology always was a role in some way, and this involved no technology. Lance was confused.

 _But~_ who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth. She was here, comforting him, he might as well take what he could get. 

He settled back down into his previous position and closed his eyes, letting out a relieved sigh. He wasn’t so sure that his ‘dream’ of Allura last night was even a dream. It felt like he was actually there with her. At least metaphysically… _Did that even make sense?_ Dios _this paladin stuff really makes my brain hurt sometimes…_ He yawned. Relaxing more into Pidge’s embrace. She was actually really comfortable, which is surprising for such a small body.

Pidge inhaled deeply, groaning as she tried to stretch, but she froze when her memories from the previous night came back to her. Lance smiled softly, squeezing her waist just a little tighter and nuzzling his head further into her shirt, eyes still closed. 

“… Morning Pidge …” He said sleepily. 

“He– uh, h-hi, Lance.” She stammered, “H-How are you feeling?”

He let out a deep sigh. “Better.” It was the truth. He felt about 20 times better than he did last night, but he wasn’t anywhere near one hundred percent yet. 

“Good.” She said as she started rubbing his back gently. “D-Do you want to talk about– “

“No.” He said firmly, broking no argument, his shoulders tense. 

Her hand froze for a second, but resumed rubbing circles on his back shortly after. “Okay.”

They sat in silence after that, the sounds of people up and about the only thing breaking the solitary quiet they found themselves in. Lance’s mind started to wander.

“… Pidge?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you know I was having nightmares?”

Her hand paused again, and she took a deep breath. “It’s a long story actually…”

Lance huffed. “Well it’s not like I don’t have time.”

She sighed. “I heard you scream Allura’s name that first night…” Lance flinched but said nothing, so she went on, “With my room right next to yours it was a no brainer. I ran as quickly as I could and found you curled up in a ball…” Her hand resumed its path along his back to try and comfort him. “When you fell asleep again, I was still worried about you, so I went to my room, grabbed by laptop, and sat down in your chair to make sure you were okay. I kept wondering if you had been going through these alone and it broke my heart. So, I decided that I was going to make sure that I would be here if it ever happened again.”

“How?” he asked softly.

“I developed a small bug that would alert me if your amygdala was active.”

 _Figures that she would put technology in here somewhere..._ He chuckled. “My what?”

“It’s a part of your brain that plays a major role in processing emotions.”

“Oh, okay - _Wait!”_ His eyes shot open and he looked up at her from her stomach. “You planted a bug in my _brain_?!”

“No! You dunderhead! I hooked it to your lampshade! It scans your brain for activity every five minutes during the time-frame that you would be asleep.”

“ _Dios_ you scared the quiznack out of me, Pidge.” He said, nuzzling his head back down to its original position. 

She laughed. “I’m not _that_ ignorant of boundaries.” She smirked. “Although, from our current position, it seems like you’re the one having that problem.”

He shrieked. _”Mierda!”_ He quickly separated himself to the other side of the bed. “Pidge, I am so sorry!”

She chuckled and sat up, crossing her legs and leaning forward to touch his hand. “Lance, it’s okay. I was just teasing you.” 

He relaxed, mirrored her position on the bed, and cleared his throat. “(*ahem*) Please continue your story.”

“Well, after I uploaded the program onto the bug and placed it on the inside of your lamp shade, I took a look around your room and noticed the blue lion on the floor. So, I picked it up and put it next to the juniberry, thinking that was a better place for it.” She rubbed her arm shyly. “Then I looked at the time and decided that you would be okay, and I was almost to my room when I ran into Hunk who was bringing you some fresh milk. I told him that I would take it in to you and I set it on your desk…” 

“Why did you leave the note? And my robe? And the slippers?”

She swallowed and looked down at her hands in her lap. “I wanted to give you an invitation to join the land of the living. I– _We_ missed you, Lance. I wanted you to be comfortable so I set out your robe and your favorite slippers out so you wouldn’t feel the need to dress up if you didn’t want to. The note was my way of telling you that without pressuring you into coming… Then I left.” 

He reached forward and touched her knee, causing her to look up at him. “Thank you, Pidge. That really helped boost my spirits a bit.” He gave her a half-smile and leaned back out of her space. 

They sat there in silence for a moment before Pidge looked at the clock and changed the subject. “So, Shiro is expecting a transmission from Coran in about one varga.” She looked at him hesitantly. “Would you like to join us?”

Lance sighed. He did miss their weird space-uncle. _A lot_ actually. It would be nice to see him. But was he ready to be _seen?_ He wasn’t sure… His marks were fairly prominent, and the crew would probably think that the world was ending if he showed his face.

A brief knock sounded on his door before Hunk walked in with breakfast. “ _Buenos días, hermano–_ Oh!” Hunk blinked in surprise. “Hey Pidge…” He looked back and forth between them for a moment.

“Mmmm, Hunk! That smells so good!” Pidge said, breaking him out of his confusion. 

“Oh! Uh, I made breakfast burritos with my mama’s special hot sauce.” He looked at Lance. “I thought it would be nice to have a little bit of home this morning.”

 _“¡Gracias, hermano!”_ Lance said cheerfully, causing Hunk to do a double-take before a huge grin spread across the big man’s face. He walked over and handed the tray to Lance.

“I just told Lance about Coran’s upcoming transmission.”

“Dude! You should totally come! Coran has been asking about you! It would be good for him to see you. You should come!”

“That’s what I said!” Pidge huffed.

“So? How about it, _hermano?”_

Lance paused, mulling it over some more in his head. He smiled. “I’ll have to shower first.”

His two friends shrieked with happiness and wrapped him up in a group hug, shocking him a little bit. His smile widened as he wrapped an arm around each friend. _Okay, Allura. I’m trying._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! I am so excited to share the next chapter with you! We finally get to see the rest of the team, and something unexpected happens... (cue spooky conspiracy theory music). 
> 
> But I am thoroughly enjoying where this fic is going!! But! I will probably not have the next chapter up for a couple of days. While it is written, I still have to edit it and do some final checks (I'm probably going to come back and edit this some more... who knows?), and my FINALS are coming up and I am S T R E S S E D ! ! ! ! ! ! So, I will be putting my focus into my schooling... for the most part. I will need to take breaks so I will use that time to write and edit a little... 
> 
> Anyway! As always, leave a comment and tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, if you’re sure Lance. We can leave if you– HOLY QUIZNACK!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Sorry for the delay, but with moving back home from college (or university depending on where you're from, it's college here in America). I've been swamped... BUT! Here is the promised chapter!! I don't know when I'll be able to update again, so I'm sorry for the sporadic updates... But stay with me! I promise that I will not orphan this fic! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this crazy chapter!! (evil cackling in the background as I shrink back into the shadows...) Don't worry! The cliffhanger isn't too bad... I think...
> 
>  **UPDATE:** I decided to rewrite this chapter... It just isn’t sitting well with me. It just seems too _blah_ right now. I originally didn’t see it, but thanks to RosieClark and their constructive criticism, I will be adding more to this chapter. I’m not sure when the next chapter will be coming out, life is crazy... BUT HANG IN THERE! This hasn’t been forgotten!!
> 
>  
> 
> **UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:** I’ve finished rewriting this chapter and it feels a lot better to me... If you see anything wrong with it let me know! As to my update schedule for a new chapter, that is still unknown... My life is crazy with work and other things, but I will try to make make this one of my priorities because I’ve missed this fic... So that’s the plan for now... Enjoy this guys!!

One varga later and there was a knock on his door. Freshly showered and dressed in his usual jacket and jeans, Lance hesitated right before he opened the door. The simple task of touching the doorknob felt like gravity was increasing on his hand. He paused to take a deep breath, and opened his door to find Pidge and Hunk waiting to walk with him to the bridge.

“Hey man.” Hunk beamed, “Are you ready to go?”

Lance took another deep, bracing breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be…”

He hesitated again before he stepped out of his room for the first time in a month. Where the doorknob felt like moving a lead hand, this one barrier now felt like hurdling the Grand Canyon.

”You can do this _hermano”_ He looked up from his view of the floor to Hunk’s understanding gaze.

”We’ll be right with you, Lance.” Pidge said, shuffling a little bit closer to him. He took another deep breath as he turned and slowly lifted his leg over the threshold. Once situated on the other side, he felt... liberated. Who knew that walking through a doorway after sticking yourself in solitary confinement for a month would make you feel so free?

He turned and sealed his door shut behind him. Pidge and Hunk created a sandwich around him and they started moving. Lance tried to make himself small and kept his head down as they walked, not wanting other people to stare at his “new” Altean markings. At one point someone in the hallway gasped, making Lance tense and shrink just a little more into himself. Noticing this, Pidge linked her arm through his and Hunk put an arm around his shoulders, wrapping him in a side-hug, and Lance straightened a little, accepting the support that his friends offered.

As they approached the bridge, Lance could hear Coran updating Shiro on the progress of New Altea. 

“…–onists have adapted quite nicely to the lay of the land. We hope to complete the majority of the newest village within the next– Lance?”

The Altean beamed widely as the entire population of the bridge turned and stared at the Red Paladin. Lance shrunk again under their scrutiny.

“Lance!” Shiro called as he strode forward to wrap him in a hug. “It’s good to see you!”

Lance tentatively returned the hug, speaking quietly, “It’s good to see you too, Shiro.”

The broke apart and Lance was promptly tackled by his sister.

“Lance! _¡Estoy tan feliz de verte!”_

 _”Es Bueno verte también, Veronica.”_ Lance replied, breaking away from his sister and turned his attention towards the screen. 

“Lance my boy! It is so good to see you up and about again!”

“It’s good to see you too, Coran!” Lance smiled. His Altean markings caught the light in that moment, causing some people to gasp. Lance’s smile disappeared and he hid his head in shame and guilt. Who would want to see a reminder of someone they’ve lost on his face?

After a few ticks of tense silence, Coran spoke. “Hey Lance!” Lance’s head tentatively looked up at the Altean. Coran leaned forward towards the camera and pointed to his own markings, “Blue for Blue! We could be twins! All you need is a fabulous mustache!” he said, striking a regal pose as he tweaked his mustache between two fingers, earning a startled laugh from the paladin.

“I guess we are, Coran.” They shared a smile. 

Coran looked behind Lance to acknowledge the presence of the other two paladins. “Why hello, Number Two! Have you tried any fantastic new dishes recently?”

Amused chuckling could be heard from just about everyone in the room. Hunk scowled at the briefly before sticking his nose in the air proudly. “As a matter of fact, I have Coran. I found this weird alien plant in one of the crates from Yellow that kind of reminded me of a strawberry from home. So, I made smoothies!”

“They were delicious, Hunk.” Shiro said.

“Hey!” Lance whined sarcastically, “Why didn’t I get one, Hunk?”

Hunk looked sheepish. “Sorry, man! The MFE pilots annihilated them before I could get you a glass…”

Lance sniffed whipping away a fake tear. “So much for friendship…” He didn’t know what it was, but all of the sudden, it felt like a fifty-pound weight was lifted off of his shoulders, making him feel freer than he has in a long time. 

Hunk pouted as Coran spoke up. “Don’t worry, Lance! It couldn’t have been better than nunvil!”

A snarky voice spoke up from behind them. “Coran, anything is better than nunvil.” They all turned towards the sound of a new voice, its owner leaning against the doorframe.

“Black Paladin!” Coran greeted.

“How are you, Coran?” Keith replied while walking further into the bridge. 

“I am doing well, thank you. Tell me, have you made contact with Krolia yet?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. We actually passed each other without noticing. The Blade is headed to New Daibazaal to begin to establish a new government there for the remaining Galra.”

“Excellent! I will probably be seeing them soon then.” Coran turned his attention to Pidge. “How goes the progress on the teladuv, Number Five? Any luck?” Lance’s attention was drawn to Allura’s worm-hole station at the front of the room and he walked towards it. The conversation behind him becoming background noise as he neared the platform. He could almost see her standing there with her hands on the two posts that were currently put away in the base, only to be activated with Altean worm-hole magic/alchemy something or other. Lance was lost to his thoughts as he stared.

“…–ance? … Lance?” 

He startled, looking to a concerned Hunk and then back at the platform. He saw the question in Hunk’s eyes as he placed a foot on the first step. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine, Hunk. Just thinking…” He said as he took another step to stand on the platform, looking down at the compartments where the orbs would be released. He walked the remaining distance and stood in place of Allura. 

“Well, if you’re sure Lance. We can leave if you– HOLY QUIZNACK!!!”

Lance’s cheeks felt warm. A pleasant tingling sensation brushed his upper cheek bones, right where his Altean marks were! _Holy quiznack, they’re glowing!!_

No sooner had they started glowing, the two orb pedestals slowly rose from the base as Lance took a few startled steps back, almost tripping down the stairs. A collective gasp could be heard around the room as well as one from the screen. No one spoke. No one moved. They all just stared. Gazes switching back and forth between the orbs and Lance’s markings – which were now fading back to their normal shade of blue. 

Lance couldn’t quite grasp what just happened. He stared at the pedestal, his thoughts becoming white noise as his mind refuses to cooperate.

 _“… Hermano?”_ Lance turned towards Hunk. “Wha-what just happened?”

Lance just stood there, shocked. His mouth tried to form words but nothing came out. He turned back to look at the platform again, still trying to process what all of this meant. 

“Congratulations, my boy!” Coran said from the screen, bringing all attention back to him. “You have the gift! You have the privilege of accessing Altean Alchemy!”

Lance turned his shocked gaze to the pedestal, to Coran, and back again. “Wha… But… But how-… But I’m not… I’m not Altean.”

Coran smiled fondly. “Well then, it seems that our Princess gave you more than just those markings…”

Multiple things happened to Lance at that moment: Grief at the mention of Allura, some residual shock still leftover, and realization dawned as to what this all meant, causing him to wobble on his feet. “The dream…” he gasped. “The-the dream… Allura… She… She said… _Dios!_ She said that I… But… This is a huge responsibility!” Calm, strong arms led him over to a chair and he mindlessly sat down, still speaking his thoughts.

Lance reverted back to his native language. _”¿Qué demonios? No entiendo. No puedo. No soy como ella. ¡No puedo hacer esto!”_

 _“Hermano, espera. Cálmese.”_ Hunk said, slowly approaching the distressed paladin. 

Coran asked a question in the background. “Does anyone know what they’re saying?” Veronica briefly translated for the others. 

Lance started to sob. “… Why me? Why me, Hunk? Why would she leave me this? I have no idea what I’m supposed to do!”

 _”Hermano. Mirame.”_ Hunk stated firmly, broking no argument and Lance obeyed. “We may never know the exact reason she left you this gift, _hermano,_ but I do know this. Allura would not have given you anything you couldn’t handle. _¡Puedes hacerlo!_ You’ve got this, man!”

Lance took a couple deep breaths and nodded, finally calming down from his panic attack. 

“Lance?”

He looked up towards Pidge with a concerned look on her face. “You okay?” 

He took a deep breath and took stock of his emotions, still sporadic and kind of all over the place, but overall okay. He gave her a slow nod a few ticks later.

Pidge gave him a scheming smile and jutted her chin towards the platform. “Wanna see what you can do?”

Lance stared at her for a few minutes, debating with himself for a few more ticks, before a joyous smirk crept onto his face. “Let’s give it a shot!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? Let me know what you think! I'd love to hear from you!
> 
>  _Please_ let me know if there are any typos that you see... And constructive criticism is always welcome!


	5. Can I do this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He heard a quiet whoosh and he opened his eyes so he could rest his hands on the magical orbs. They glowed a soft blue once his hands came in contact. He looked up at his friends, only to see matching looks of excitement on each one, mirroring his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... Hi!
> 
> Oh don't mind me! I'm just finally updating this after four-ish months... I thought that summer was supposed to be a vacation where I could actually write more, but no! That didn't happen! 
> 
> So! I hope that I will be able to update more often, but here is the next chapter! ... Finally... 
> 
> Thank you for your patience! I hope you like it!

_I can do this._

Lance stood on the platform, fists clenched, and a determined (yet hesitant) look on his face. 

_I can do this_

He took a deep breath and stared down at the small openings in the floor. 

_I can’t do this!_

_What if it doesn’t work? What if that was just a one-time thing? What if something goes wrong? What if I worm-hole us further away from Earth? What if I can’t control it? What if the orbs don’t cooperate with me? What if I break it? What if–_

“…Lance? LANCE!”

He jumped, fists coming up to his chest and feet widening into an almost fighting stance. His heart beating at a rapid pace – from the scare or his panic attack, he didn’t know. His eyes land on Pidge who stepped slightly closer to him. “You still with us, Lance?”

He slowly lowers his hands and stands up a little straighter. “I, uh, y-yeah.” He flounders, trying to get over his sudden nerves. 

“… Lance, you know it was just a suggestion, right?” Pidge asks.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Keith said. 

“Go at your own pace, _hermano.”_ Hunk says calmly, “No one is forcing you to do this.”

“N-No. I want to!” Lance says adamantly, then his expression falls as he hunches in on himself. The doubts and fears of what is about to happen creeping back into his conscious thoughts. “I… I’m just… _scared_ …” he whispers. 

“You can do this, Lance.” He looks up to find Shiro looking at him softly, a look of complete confidence in his eyes. 

“But, Shiro – ” 

“But nothing.” Shiro returns with a tone of finality, “Lance, you are the most determined human being that I’ve ever met. You are the one who we all know could get us through any situation. You are the one who saved Coran from that bomb! Even though it meant injuring yourself.” Several small gasps echoed around the room for a moment. The loudest being that of his sister, having not known this information before. 

“And I will never be able to thank you enough for that, my boy” Coran said with tears in his eyes, causing Lance’s eyes to tear up.

“You were the one who helped me collect money from a fountain for hours, just so I could buy a game!” Pidge says, “If that isn’t a kind heart and determination at its finest, then I don’t know what is!”

“It was the one thing that got us through our time floating around in space” Keith pipes up from the behind Shiro.

“Yeah! And you were the one who would help me test my new inventions, in the kitchen or otherwise, and were always making sure that my feelings weren’t hurt, and helped me get through the disappointment at each failed attempt!” Hunk chimed in. 

Shiro continues, “Not to mention, you were the one who spent hours working with your bayard, truly becoming our sharpshooter. Your determination is what makes that happen. It happened then, and it will happen now. You can do this, Lance.” Shiro gives Lance a confident smile, full of admiration and trust. 

Lance is floored. His tears now flowing in earnest. He never expected anything like this from his friends, his paladin family. Especially not from Shiro. To have your hero tell you that they are proud of what you have accomplished… It just... There is no other feeling like it. He looked at Veronica, who also had tears in her eyes after hearing all of these wonderful stories about her little brother. She gave him a soft smile, earning one from him in return.

“… Okay.” He said softly. He turned back to the platform. The look on his face being one that the team hadn’t seen since before Allura. They all smiled to each other, _their sharpshooter was back._

Coran cleared his throat. “Lance, be aware that you might only be able to see a small distance into space. You probably won’t be able to make a worm-hole yet. So, be patient. Don’t get frustrated if you can’t do it. It took Princess Allura deca-phoebes to master this skill!”

Lance gave him a short nod and closed his eyes. He concentrated on the task at hand, taking a deep breath. 

His markings began to tingle and he knew that it was working. He heard a quiet whoosh and he opened his eyes so he could rest his hands on the magical orbs. They glowed a soft blue once his hands came in contact. He looked up at his friends, only to see matching looks of excitement on each one, mirroring his own. 

“Fantastic work Lance!” Coran shouted excitedly. “Now, simply concentrate on looking a little bit into space. You probably won’t be able to see much more than a couple of vargas worth of distance, but it’s a start.”

Lance nodded and closed his eyes once more, everyone going deathly quiet to allow him to concentrate. Slowly, a small area of space filled his mind, a white blob slowly coming into focus. “I can see the Atlas. From the outside.”

“That’s great, Lance! Now, try to move out a little bit. See how far you can go.”

“How am I supposed to zoom out with this thing? Do I just reach out with positive vibes or something?”

“It’s more of your link to the quintessence around you. ‘Feel it out’ I believe is the Earth phrase for this.”

Lance sent out all of the quintessence vibes that he could, trying to find anything ahead of The Atlas. But all he can see so far was open space. He reaches out further, pushing himself deeper into the quintessence around him; his markings glowing a bright and vibrant blue. He can see a small cluster of something off in the distance, directly in the path of The Atlas. He reaches toward it. 

“Shiro, you’d better alter our course a little bit, or we’re going to hit that asteroid field in about a varga.” Lance said with a smirk on his face, opening his eyes to make contact with Shiro’s. 

Shouts of excitement and joyous laughter echoed through the bridge. Lance suddenly had an armful of a green gremlin, almost knocking him off of the platform. 

“I knew you could do it, Lance!” she shouted into his shoulder excitedly as she wrapped her arms around his torso. 

“Calm down, Pidge, I’ve barely even seen anything.” Lance replied as his arms came up to wrap around hers. 

“Well, you saw something, didn’t you? That’s more than the rest of us could do!”

“She’s quite right, my boy.” Coran said, “This is a major accomplishment! You are progressing quite well! How do you feel? Not just emotionally, but physically. This can take quite a toll on the body.”

Lance took stock of his general self. “Weird.” Everyone laughed. “I just feel weird. I can’t describe it… It almost feels like I spent hours flying Red. But… not… Does that make any sense?”

“Not really.” Keith smirked. 

“Shut up, Mullet!” 

“But in all seriousness, how do you feel physically, Lance?” Coran asked, concerned. 

“I’m a little tired.” Lance replied. “And I’ve maybe got a small headache coming on.”

“Then you should stop for the day, my boy. You’ll hurt yourself if you continue. Get lots of rest, and you can try again in the morning.”

“Thanks, Coran. This… This means a lot…” Lance said softly, thinking about Allura. This wonderful gift that she had given him. Allowing him to always have a small part of her in his life forever. He doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing! It would be nice to have her here to teach him. Oh man, he wished she was here with him. To experience his first… whatever this was, with him. 

Just then he felt a little squeeze from around his waist. He had forgotten that Pidge was still hugging him. He looked down to see her soft smile, and caught the understanding that was in that gaze. His shoulders relaxed – When did he become so tense? – and he knew that while Allura was not there, the rest of his space family was. And that is exactly what he needs right now. 

Coran smiled softly. “That it does, Lance. Now, I apologize to everyone, but I must be going now. They’re beginning construction on the monument, and I must be there to oversee it.”

“That’s quite alright, Coran.” Shiro spoke, “We’ll talk to you soon.”

A chorus of “Byyyyeeee” could be heard right before the video feed was cut off, sending the room into a pleasant quiet.

Until Hunk found his voice again. “Lance! That was AMAZING! I can’t believe that you can do that! This is so cool! I wonder how it works… Do the markings channel a cosmic energy that allows you to see into space? – ”

“Hunk…” Lance said, releasing Pidge and taking a step towards Hunk. 

“ – Or are the markings just like a power indicator like the power button on a TV – “

“Hunk!”

“ – but wait, you didn’t touch them at all so they’re not the on/off switch… Oh! What if the – “

“HUNK!” Lance said, placing his hands on the big man’s shoulders, finally getting his attention. “Breathe, _hermano,_ you’re rambling.” And Hunk did just that.

“Hunk, this is sophisticated Altean alchemy. I highly doubt that your hypotheses will pan out to any concrete results.” Pidge said smugly. 

Hunk sighed. “You’re right… This is just so cool!” He said, wrapping his arms around Lance and lifting him up in the air, squeezing tight. 

Lance laughed. “Hunk! Let me breathe!” 

“Oops! Sorry!” he said, basically dropping Lance on the spot, causing him to lose his balance and almost fall to the floor. 

“Lance.” He looked over at Shiro at the sound of his name. “You should probably go rest like Coran said.”

Lance nodded, finally feeling how tired he really was. “Yeah, that sounds good.” He started walking towards the door, patting Hunk’s shoulder before releasing it as he passed. 

“Hey Lance.” Pidge said. Lance stopped and turned to look at her. “We’ll see you at dinner?” It was posed as a question, giving him an out of the situation if he really needed it, but also giving encouragement to join them. 

“Yeah. I’ll see you at dinner. I bet Hunk will make something amazing as always.” He smirked. 

“I am definitely making garlic knots now! We need to celebrate!” Hunk said enthusiastically. 

Lance smiled at his friend’s excitement. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Do you like how it's progressing? I promise more Plance is coming soon! I hope you guys are okay with this little snippet ;)


	6. One Step Forward, Five Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hunk! That was one time, and my entire body felt like one giant spaghetti noodle.” Lance whined indignantly, stretching even more of his body weight over his friend. “And if you marry me, you’d get all of the special perks that come with it.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as the table was again surrounded by laughter, Lance’s joining shortly after. 
> 
> _Dios, I missed this…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Long time no chapter.
> 
> It's been about a month since I posted the last chapter, and let me tell you, I have been working _hard_ on this new one! But as always, if you see any mistakes, don't be afraid to leave me a comment! I would much rather you tell me about a typo then to discover that there was one weeks down the road when I inevitably have to reread what I have written. 
> 
> **Trigger Warning:** As always, this story has graphic depictions of Lance grieving Allura. If you have recently lost a loved one, I would recommend that you take part in some self-care and not read it. If you still would like to follow this story for when the healing actually takes place, you can scroll down to the notes below and find a summary of the chapter. For this chapter, I would stop reading at "ANYWAY..." and skip to the notes below. Please be conscious of your own emotional and psychological needs. 
> 
> But! Without further ado, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

**Lance**

“Oh _Dios!”_ Lance cried over the bite of a delicious garlic knot practically _melting_ on his tongue. They tasted just like his Mama’s back home, causing a wave of homesickness and nostalgia to crash over him. So, he did what he does best to distract himself from his emotions. He joked. “Marry me, Hunk!”

A smattering of laughter emerged from the table of paladins as Lance practically draped himself over the smiling chef. “As flattering as that may be, Lance, I’ve been your roommate long enough to know the habits of your laziness. I would rather not be the one with the duty of having to walk across the dorm to fetch the remote off of the coffee table, _that is two feet in front of you_ because you claimed that Professor Montgomery had turned you into a gas station wobbly-man during training that day... So that’s a hard pass there, buddy.”

“Hunk! That was one time, and my entire body felt like one giant spaghetti noodle.” Lance whined indignantly, stretching even more of his body weight over his friend. “And if you marry me, you’d get all of the special perks that come with it.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as the table was again surrounded by laughter, Lance’s joining shortly after. 

_Dios, I missed this…_

“Lance, get off of Hunk before you fall off, _tonto_ ” Lance looked up to see his sister standing by the table with her food tray in her hands; Acxa was standing behind her in a similar position.

“ _Cállate,_ Roni! I’m trying to woo my future husband here!” He stuck his tongue out at her. 

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure that’s working out swimmingly with you draped across his lap like a little imp.”

Lance let out an indignant huff as he placed the back of his hand on his forehead. “Ugh! You wound me! Husband, defend my honor!”

Lance may or may not have made a high-pitched squawk as he was suddenly shoved to the floor. He glared up at the mulleted-culprit, who sat there with a smug look on his face. 

“I don’t recall anyone answering to that title here, Lance.” Keith smirked as another round of snickers could be heard from around the table. Lance grumbled as he picked himself off of the floor and took his place back on the bench; digging into the ambrosia laid out before him. 

The only thing that snagged his attention from his meal was an unfamiliar, shy, uncertain tone coming from none other than the edge lord himself: “H-hey Acxa, how are you?”

“Hi--, uh, h-hey Keith…” Acxa stuttered, her cheeks blooming a light violet hue as she made brief eye contact with Keith. “I-I’m doing quite well, thank you.” They both smiled softly before looking away, shyly. _Was that a blush on his face?_

Lance stared openly in confusion; his mouth still stuffed with garlic knots. He glanced around the table to see Hunk, Pidge, Veronica, and Shiro all share the same knowing look with small smirks on their faces. 

_I am so lost…_

Veronica was the one to break the silence. “Oh, looks like Rizavi is impersonating a clumsy bird to get our attention. We’ll see you guys later!”

There was a chorus of goodbyes as she and Acxa walked to the other side of the cafeteria to sit with the MFE’s. Lance swallowed his mouthful once they were out of earshot and asks, “Okay, what am I missing here? What’s going on?”

Pidge sent a mischievous smirk to Keith. “Why don’t you tell him, _loverboy?”_ she said teasingly.

“Shut up, Pidge.” Keith whispered back harshly as he used his fork to move his food around his plate; the blush on his face returning to match the shade of his former lion. 

Lance looked back and forth between the two, “I’m still lost…”

“Keith’s got a crush on Acxa.” Shiro said bluntly. 

_“Shiro!”_ Keith hissed through his teeth and Shiro chuckled. 

“Ah! So, how did it happen?” Lance placed both of his elbows on the table, placing his chin in his hands, giving Keith a cheeky smile. 

Keith sighed “We’ve kind of always had this truce since I saved her from the weblum’s stomach—”

“Wow… A love story for the ages! You saved her from a stomach.”

“The stomach of a creature that destroys planets in one laser blast! So yeah, I did do that, _Lance.”_

“Well then, point for Gryffindor.”

“ANYWAY, ever since…” Keith trailed off and swallowed thickly. He didn’t have to finish that sentence for Lance to know exactly what he was talking about, and suddenly it’s like part of his progress over the past couple of days was just annihilated by said weblum from before. He felt the beginnings of a panic attack beginning to form, but he did his best to swallow it down. _My hands are shaking._ “I’ve been training a lot to distract myself, and Acxa found me and started sparring with me. We’ve grown really close, and…” Keith smiled softly, “I really like her.”

Lance was silent for a moment. _Allura and I were like that… We were each other’s distractions… What am I supposed to do when in order to help myself deal with her death, I need her here with me?_ he thought; his bottom lip trembling and his eyes tearing up. A small sob escaped his throat.

Upon hearing that sound, Keith realized what he had just said. “Lance, I—”

“—That’s great Keith!” Lance interrupted, looking up to try and clear his eyes and choking down a sob. “I’m uh, really happy for you, man…” 

“Lance—”

“I have to go!” Lance cried as he removed himself from the bench and bolted from the room, his lunch forgotten on the table. He kept running down the halls towards his room, dodging people as they made room for him down the middle of the hallway. His sobs were uncontrollable at this point, barely being able to see enough to place his hand on the panel to his room and collapse on his bed, smothering his face in his pillow. 

After a few dobashes of sobbing in agony, he spoke out into the atmosphere of his room. _“Lo siento mi amor. No soy suficientemente fuerte… Te necesito. Me siento tan sola… No sé si puedo hacer esto más.”_ His whole body shook with the force of his sobs as he moved into the fetal position, rocking back and forth on his bed. 

He was in so much emotional pain that he didn’t notice when his marks briefly lit up in acknowledgement; the light disappearing as quickly as it came. 

What he did notice was the soft knock on his door and he clutched the pillow tighter.

_______________________________________

**Pidge**

Everyone sat frozen at the table as they watched helplessly as Lance practically flew out of the room. Their stupor was broken by an angry fist pounding on the table, briefly drawing the attention of the tables right next to them before the occupants went back to their own conversations.

“Ugh! How could I have been so insensitive?” Keith berated himself. “Why did I have to go and remind him that Allura is gone, and then rub my crush in his face?”

“Keith, it wasn’t your fault.” Shiro said softly, reaching up with his real hand to place it on Keith’s shoulder. “You didn’t know that what you said would have triggered him. He asked to know your story and you told him. There is no shame in doing that. It was an honest miscalculation.”

Keith sighed and stood from the table. “I should go to him. To apologize.”

“Lets all go.” Pidge suggested as she started packing up her lunch and the others followed suit. 

They walked down the hallways as a unit, ready to support their right-hand man. They could hear his sobs coming through his door from Pidge’s doorway. As they got closer, they began to hear him speak in Spanish. 

_“Lo siento mi amor. No soy suficientemente fuerte… Te necesito. Me siento tan sola… No sé si puedo hacer esto más…”_

A gasp came from Pidge’s left and she looked up in time to see Hunk put his hands over his heart, a pained look crossing his face. 

“What did he just say, Hunk?” She asked, knowing from the tone in Lance’s voice that it wasn’t anything good. 

Hunk swallowed thickly as he turned his watery eyes towards his teammates. “He… He said that he’s not strong enough. That he’s so lonely and…” Hunk paused and swallowed again, “That he doesn’t know if he can do this anymore.”

Shiro, Keith, and Pidge all gasped in unison, and Pidge quickly walked up to knock on his door. She waited a few seconds, hearing nothing but silence coming from within. She knocked again. “Lance? Lance, can we come in?”

A strangled sob and a whimper were heard, causing the team to tear up more. Keith stepped forward and spoke softly. “Lance, I’m sorry for what I said. It was insensitive of me. I didn’t realize how my words would affect you and for that I apologize. Just… Can you please let us in?”

Another whimper and sob. 

“Lance Charles McClain!” Hunk said sternly. “I will give you until the count of three to give us some sort of verbal acknowledgement as to what you would like us to do, or I will have Pidge hack into your locking mechanism and bust our way in.”

There was a brief pause before a soft “It’s open.” Came from the room. 

Pidge turned to Hunk, eyebrow raised. “You didn’t even check to see if the door was locked before making that ultimatum?” Hunk’s expression turned sheepish as he shrugged and placed his hand on the panel. 

The door swished open to see Lance curled up on his side, facing the door. His arms were wrapped around himself and his face was turned into the pillow. He was gently rocking back and forth as if to try and calm himself down, quiet sobs were emitted from his body. Hunk immediately walked over to him and picked him up princess style, turning so he sat on the bed and arranging them so Lance practically sat on his lap, his face curled into Hunk’s shoulder. Keith and Shiro both sat on opposite sides of Hunk, while Pidge opted to kneel on the floor, placing her hand on his knee to offer him comfort without overwhelming him. They sat there together in silence. 

_______________________________________

**Lance**

Lance took a shuddering breath as he allowed himself to relax into the position, finally being able to calm down a little as Hunk rubbed his hand up and down his back. 

“Could you…” Lance paused to sniff a little bit. “Can I get a group hug?”

He was promptly tackled to the bed with Hunk underneath him, his arms wrapped around his torso. Keith was in front of him, wrapping an arm around his back. Pidge practically in the shape of a star-fish, squashing him on top. And Shiro at his back with his human arm wrapped around them all. He would have felt bad for Hunk if he and Pidge hadn’t done this exact thing a million times in the castle of lions. Nothing can squash this giant of a man.

And for the first time since Allura’s death, Lance didn’t feel alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Summary:** Keith begins talking about his and Acxa's developing relationship and Lance gets triggered and has a panic attack. He runs from the cafeteria and cries in his room. The team then decides to follow a few minutes later and asks to come in. Upon receiving consent, walk in and comfort him. 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading! 
> 
> **One more important note:** This story is a Plance-centered story. Meaning that all other ships that have been tagged _are not the main focus of the story._ If you are reading this for the purpose of reading in-depth material about any of those ships listed above besides Plance, then this is not the story for you. While there is a bit of Kacxa in this chapter, there will probably only be little snippets of their relationship in the future. I will not be going into detail of how they got together. The same goes for Hunay and Shurtis. I will only be putting in details that are relevant to the main story of Plance. I understand the excitement of seeing your ships being represented, but this is a fic where they will only have short cameos within a chapter. I thank you all for reading my story, and I apologize for any disappointment that this may have caused. I hope that you stick along for the ride! :)
> 
> As always, let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! I would love to hear from you! :D


	7. Night Terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge helps Lance through a night terror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... Hey, uh hi! 
> 
> ...I am sooooooo sorry for the lateness of this chapter. But my motivation was waning and I had a huge case of writer's block... Also, college/university/undergraduate school (for wherever you are in the world...) SUCKS!!! I'm in my senior (4th) year and everything is just so intense! Next semester is probably going to be even worse so I can't make any promises... But! It is Christmas Break, so I might be able to get out some more chapters here... But again, no promises... 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one! It's a little bit shorter than the others, and I'm sorry for that. But! Here we are! 
> 
> **Trigger Warning:**  
>  Night Terrors/Nightmares  
> \- It might not be that bad of a night terror, but it still could be a little triggering. Summary in the End Note.

**PIDGE**

Pidge woke up with a start. Still disoriented from sleep, she tries to figure out what woke her, before realizing that there was an annoying beeping sound coming from somewhere in the room. It didn’t sound like the emergency alarm for attacks, nor did it sound like her alarm clock. **That** ringtone was set to play _All Star_ by Smash Mouth as a joke from Lance around the time they battled Zarkon. _What the hell is that sound?_

She jerked up. _Lance!_

Trying not to trip on the various books, technology, and trash sculptures that were left scattered all over the floor of her room in The Atlas, she jumped from her bed; her muscles having almost committed the route from memory. She slapped her hand on the panel by the door and sped down the hallway to Lance’s room next door. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she raised her hand to the panel to open the door. She froze as it slid open. 

Lance was laying on his back, tossing and turning around in his bed. His hair a mess, and his face scrunched up in pain. Tears openly flowing down his cheeks and staining the pillow below him as he whimpered, “No… Don’t go… Allura… Allura… I’m trying. _I’m trying!_ I’mTrying,I’mTrying,I’mTry— I’m trying, Allura! … I can’t— Allura! _Allura!”_

Lance was thrashing around at this point, which broke Pidge from her temporary shock. She dashed over to his bedside, grasping his hands tightly and pinning them on both sides of his head so he wouldn’t hurt himself. “Lance! _LANCE!_ Wake up! Come on, Lance, wake up!” His head thrashed more violently against her as his whimpers turned into sobs. His face a mask of pure agony that broke Pidge’s heart. 

Following her instincts, she moved his hands against his sides and quickly wrapped her arms tightly around his torso, trapping his arms against his body. She didn’t care whether she was invading his personal space or not. All she knew was that Lance needed her, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let him suffer through this alone. She squeezed tightly as she continued her verbal effort to wake him. “Lance you’re safe. You’re safe. You’re okay. Wake up!”

He gasped; his eyes wide open as he threw his head back to further open up his airway. He stopped thrashing as his body started waking up. Panting deep breaths as he slowly calmed down. Pidge slowly started to relax her tight hold around his arms and torso, keeping them there just in case. Sobs continued to wrack his body as his mind recovered from the shock of being woken up. Broken whispers began to fill the room. 

“I’m trying… _(pant)_ I’m trying… _(pant)_ I’m trying…”

With her heart breaking just a little bit more, Pidge released her right arm and started carding her fingers through his hair as she spoke softly in his ear, “Lance you’re okay. Shhh… Calm down. You’re okay, I’m here. I’m here, Lance. You’re not alone. Shhh… You’re okay.”

His panting continued for a few more minutes and Pidge diligently stroked his hair. 

“P… Pidge?” he croaked. 

She looked up into teary blue eyes and gave him a soft smile. “Hey there sharpshooter. Are you okay?” Her answer came in the form of Lance breaking eye contact with her and turning his head down as if in shame. Instantly she wanted to smack herself. Of course, he wasn’t okay! He just woke up from a bad nightmare. _No…_ her mind supplied, _A night **terror**._ “That was a dumb question for me to ask, I’m sorry.” She quickly amended. 

Pidge moved so that she was pressed up against Lance’s side, right arm threaded under his neck, and playing with his hair, and the other was wrapped around him in a loose bear-hug, holding him gently. Part of her didn’t want to push, but she had to admit, her inquisitive mind was piqued. It is the curse of being a Holt. Not only that, but she felt sort of protective over Lance. Ever since he stepped in to try and save her from torture when they were captured by Ezor and Zethrid, she felt a strong bond of complete trust form between them. It kind of just happens when someone is willing to do anything to take your pain away from you. She figures that the least she could do is try to return the favor. “Do you… Do you want to talk about it? It’s okay if you don’t! I don’t want you to feel any pressure to tell me or anything, I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me.”

Lance hummed softly and she felt his body relax into her embrace. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke. 

“I’ve… been having these… meetings… with Allura… on the…” He clears his throat. “On the astral plane…”

Pidge said nothing, though she was a little shocked at the new development. She wanted to quiz him on the details of it to try and find a scientific conclusion from it, but she knew that that was exactly what Lance _didn’t_ need right now. So, she simply kept running her hand through his hair and waited for him to speak. 

When he finally spoke again, there were tears in his eyes once more. “Every damn time, there’s a barrier between us. Like, an actual, physical barrier and I can’t–“ He chokes on a sob. “I can’t _touch_ her… And I hate it! I hate it because I’m trying to get over her. But in order to get over her, I need her with me… It’s this never ending shitty cycle! I can’t do this anymore! She keeps telling me that I need to let her go. But it’s just too damn hard!” He starts crying in earnest and Pidge just holds him tighter. Her heart was breaking.

“Lance?” She asked when he quieted once more. “What can I do to help?”

“I don– I don’t know, Pidge…” 

“Well…” She wasn’t sure if she should even suggest this, but it was worth a shot. “What were the things that Allura used to do? We could try to do those things to help you. You’re not alone in this, Lance. You’ve got people to help you. What do you need right now that I can give you? Or at least try to help with in some way?”

Lance was quiet for a couple more minutes, then whispered “Just… just stay…” Like he was afraid of asking this of her. 

She smiled and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. She froze. Realizing what she had just done. There were only three people in this universe that she had ever done that to, and they were all blood relations. She had never even had the thought of kissing someone who wasn’t family on the forehead. What has gotten into her? She usually wasn’t this touchy-feely. 

But all of those thoughts were put to rest when Lance just snuggled deeper into her chest. Pidge felt her face heat up and she was grateful that Lance couldn’t see it, both from his position and the dark lighting. It was only because of Lance’s body heat that was making her face red… right?

Even with her vast intellect, she couldn’t come up with any plausible conclusion other than one…

_…  
Oh quiznak… I’m in trouble…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Summary:**  
>  Pidge wakes up to the alarm for Lance. She comforts him after she wakes him up and talks about how she can help. She kisses Lance on the forehead, and realizes that she's starting to have feelings for Lance. 
> 
> __________________________
> 
> Hey! We're finally entering the romantic arc of the story! As well as a more evident recovery arc! 
> 
> There will probably be a lot of time skips, and the occasional angst from here on out. I'm not sure, I'm still dealing with the writer's block... So we'll see! 
> 
> I hope you guys liked it! Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!  
> Constructive criticism is appreciated. If you are rude in any way in your comment (besides sarcasm, and I will know if you are being rude or not), I will drop-kick your ass out of here. There is no need to be rude to someone who is doing this just for fun (and for free) when you could just simply exit out of it and say nothing. Please be kind to one another, people! It's really not that hard! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D


	8. Emotional Contemplation Journal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I didn't notice it until it slapped me in the face.
> 
> Like, literally slapped me in the face."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo!!! I'm back so soon!! 
> 
> Don't expect this to be a regular thing... I simply had a lot of free time on my hands today... ;D
> 
> So, I changed the writing into First-Person POV. The other just wasn't working for me anymore. I'm sorry if this bothers anyone, but I'm too lazy/busy to change the other chapters to first person as well. But I hope you like it! I know I do!
> 
> And I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I don't get to write Pidge a lot so, this one was really fun! 
> 
> Enjoy it guys! 
> 
> Merry Christmas!

**PIDGE**

_Experimental Data Entry and Subjects of Emotional Contemplation Journal_

__

__

_Entry #173 – Theme: Emotional – Subject: Lance_

_It’s been about two weeks since that last big night terror and I can honestly say that Lance is getting better. He still has nightmares almost every night, but he hasn’t had a night terror again… So far. I mean, statistically speaking, with Lance’s month of silence and bouts depression, along with his struggle still whenever people mention Allura’s name. But he’s getting better._

_His Altean alchemy skills have also improved substantially. He is now able to see within the range of a couple of galaxies and can create a wormhole, but it is not yet stable enough for transportation. Coran is very impressed with how easily Lance is picking all of this up. And honestly, the rest of us are too. He’s still grieving, but this is taking up a lot of his time and energy each day. It stands to reason, that Lance is using his new-found skills to help him move forward and heal. Yet, it must be difficult to work on something 24/7 that has such an extrinsic (and intrinsic) correlation to Allura. But then again, that could also be what his helping him to get better. Honestly, Lance is one giant puzzle that I have yet to solve. He is so complex! But when has that ever stopped me?_

_And another thing. These new romantic feelings towards Lance is causing my research to become personal on a molecular level. It’s like I can just tell whenever he enters a room, or where he is in that room. I’m developing this weird sixth sense – which, isn’t even scientifically proven that one can even develop such a sense. It is not compatible with any of my previous knowledge. And yet, I am inexplicably drawn to him. But is this just because I am more aware of his emotional state, and therefore am simply worried for his well-being as a friend? Or are these romantic feelings substantial and is there the possibility of a future relationship? More data is required._

_Does me having these feelings for him – when he has just come out of a relationship that ended in tragedy – make me a bad friend? It is very selfish of me. I cannot be biased in a situation like this. It is too delicate. Then again, am I simply biased against myself? I think it would be wise to include the opinion of a mutual third party who knows the both of us very well._

_Hunk. I’ll talk to Hunk at the next viable opportunity._

_That’s all for now. Until the next emotional inquiry._

_-Katie_

I close my journal, place it back in the drawer of my nightstand, and get up to go find Hunk. This is something that I could really use his help on. I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t usually do this emotions stuff. 

And yet, I’ve been doing it no problem with Lance. Ugh! Why can’t I figure this out?

I am so lost in my thoughts that I don’t even see where I’m going, and I bump into the solid brick wall of a person. A very familiar brick wall.

“Hunk! You are just the person I was looking for. Come on! Come on! I need to talk to you about something!” With no further explanation or preamble, I grab his hand and start tugging him back towards my room. Not that it did much good. There’s no way that I could move this boulder of a man. But I keep pulling on him like a small child pulls on their parent’s arm anyway. “I am a woman on a mission!” 

“Whoa, whoa there, Mighty Mouse. Calm down. I’m coming!” He chuckles as he gives in to my dramatics and follows me. Man, Lance has had more of an effect on me than I thought. 

But I mask this new discovery about myself with an indignant glare in his direction. “Hunk, I will tase you will my bayard. This mouse is small but ferocious!” I say as I keep tugging on his arm. He’s not moving fast enough for my taste. “I need to solve this _now!_ It is driving me crazy!”

“Alright, alright! Tell me about this big problem that you have.”

“I will once we actually get into my damn room!”

“Language!” Shiro calls as he passes by.

“My _quiznaking_ room, Shiro!” He just laughs and shakes his head at us as he goes about his business. 

We finally reach my room and I expertly weave through my various belongings on the floor to my bed, moving aside some of the blueprints I have there to make room for the both of us to sit down. I sit on the bed and face Hunk as he gingerly makes his way through the various piles in my room with his tongue sticking out. He lets out a relieved sigh as he finally plops down on the bed. 

He turns to me. “So, what is this–”

“I like Lance!” I blurt out, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. 

Hunk blinks at me for a few ticks, eyes wide. “Uh, okay. Wow. Did not expect this to be _that_ kind of a problem. Heh. So, what do you need me for?”

I pause and look over at the trash sculpture of our current subject of conversation. I take a deep breath and exhale just as loudly. “Does that make me a bad friend?”

“What? No, Pidge, why would you think that?”

“Well, because he just lost Allura three months ago. Don’t you think that’s too soon? And he’s got so much on his plate, I just don’t know if I can tell him something like that. What if he freaks out? What if he never wants to speak to me again? What if he goes back to staying in his room all the time? What if it throws him off enough to make him lose concentration and can’t make a wormhole? What if–”

“Okay, okay. Calm down, Pidge, you’re rambling. And your feelings are valid. Look, Lance is a nice guy. Sure, he might avoid you for a while, but he’ll come around in the end. He won’t go back to that month of silence; he’s come too far for that now. And this is all _if_ he doesn’t like you back. Or maybe he will just need more time? The only way you will know for sure, is if you tell him about it yourself. Honestly, the worst-case scenario isn’t even that bad. Yeah, it will suck for a little while, but you’ll both get through it. And again, this is all relative. You can do this, Pidge.”

I take another deep breath, feeling about a hundred times better than I did a minute ago. Yeah, telling Hunk was a good call. He has some sound advice. I was just overreacting. “Thanks, Hunk. I’m sorry, I’ve just never felt this way about anyone before…” 

He gives me a soft smile. “You really like him, don’t you?” I nod quickly; I really do. “Then tell him.” He smiles and stands, squeezes my shoulder a little bit, and then makes his way through the room and out the door. 

I sit there for a few more minutes and nod to myself. Yeah, I’ll tell him. When the time is right. 

___________________________________________________________

_Time Skip: Two Weeks Later._

**LANCE**

I didn’t notice it until it slapped me in the face.

Like, literally slapped me in the face. 

I was heading towards the cafeteria with Keith, Acxa, Hunk, Shiro, and this communications officer named Curtis that Shiro has taken a liking to, after a long training session of just feeling out the universe’s quintessence when it happened. Shiro had called Pidge’s lab through the intercom about lunch and she insisted that she was having “a scientific breakthrough” on the levitation system of her Rover 2.0 prototype. Shiro let her continue with a promise to take a break for lunch in an hour. We were about halfway there when we heard “Rover! Get back here!” coming from behind us. I turn around to look at what was going on, only to be promptly smacked in the face by said Rover prototype and I go down. _Hard._

The first thing I see when I come to is a very familiar sight, in a completely different setting. The only word I can think of to describe it would be _angelic._ Her beautiful face leaning over me is completely free of makeup. Those absurdly cute, but ridiculous glasses perched on her freckled nose. Her hair put up in a small ponytail with little strands of hair sticking everywhere, giving her the crazed – yet put together look of a scientist. The lighting behind her casting her head in a sort of halo. Her big amber eyes that I could drown in forever. And I do. I drown within their depths of vast knowledge. Those eyes so full of wonder. 

And that’s when I knew. 

This moment. Right here. 

You could say that this is the moment I fell for her. _Hard._

Holy crow, I like Pidge. 

A _lot._

She’s been there for me in the past couple of months in a way that no one else has. Not only has she been there for my nightmares, but she checks on my all throughout the day. And she’s discreet about it; like she doesn’t want it advertised when I’m struggling, which I appreciate very much. _Dios,_ she’s so pretty. I just want to run my hands through her hair.

Annnnnd I’ve definitely got a concussion. At least a minor one. My thoughts are running away with my new-found crush. 

… And I’ve also been staring at her for the past couple of minutes. Smooth one, McClain.

Well! When in doubt, flirt it out. “Hey there, beautiful. Come here often?” I throw her a smirk and a wink. 

I hear the usual murmur of groans and soft chuckles come from the peanut gallery around us, but my eyes are still focused on Pidge enough that I can see her face turn a soft red. _Is that a blush?_

I’m too stunned to answer any of the questions coming from the others around us as I am still clearly focused on Pidge, as she is on me. We’re just staring into each other’s eyes like we’re in a cheesy romantic comedy. I can’t break the eye contact and I don’t want to. This feeling growing between us is so tangible that I can almost grasp its meaning. _Damn… Those eyes…_

Through my peripheral vision, I can see a large hand come to rest on Pidge’s shoulder and it breaks the tension in the air between us. She shakes her head a little as if to clear it and focuses on the situation at hand. 

She speaks softly. “Lance, we need to take you to the med bay. You definitely have a black eye from where Rover hit you and you probably have a concussion. We need to get you into a healing pod. It’s a good thing that my dad finished those last week. They’re perfectly safe.” I can feel multiple sets of arms help me to sit up and Pidge rests a hand on my shoulder; my skin burning with a soft electricity where her hand rests. 

Huh… That’s new. 

She leans in to whisper in my ear soothingly, “We’ll talk later.” She leans back to give me a look that conveys that feeling from earlier. I nod, then promptly wince. Man, that did not feel good. Like, _at all._

“Come on, bud. Let’s get you into that pod.” Hunk says as he and Shiro lift me to my feet. Hunk puts my arm around his shoulder and we walk toward the med bay. I am suddenly all too eager to be back with Pidge so we can have that talk. 

I need to tell her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! 
> 
> As always, leave a comment and let me know what you think! 
> 
> Take care guys! <3


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